If I said losing you didn't hurt, i'd be lying. Although I am sad. I am also happy that you are no longer in pain. You suffered for so long and you deserve to rest. Losing you hit me like a ton of bricks. It came on so fast and the pain lingers. I knew it was coming, but nothing could have prepared me for this. Nothing could have prepared me for the thought of how he must feel. For he was even closer to you than I. It was impossible not to love you. Everyone did. One of the last times I saw you healthy was during July. We made the 2 hour trip in an unconditioned van. I remember sitting outside, you were dancing to a country song, happier than you had been for weeks. Everyone was exchanging stories, having a good time. At the funeral a lady told us of how she was affected by you, her mother was also staying in the home you were. You would often greet them outside with a smile. You were always smiling. You would play with their 2 year old son, you quickly became a favourite of his. I remember every time I used to visit you, you would sneak me a werthers while no one was looking. I loved your abundance of dogs you had. I loved how Max would always greet us as soon as we showed up. I loved how you always were willing to help out anyone you could. I loved how you put your family before everything. Although you never had much material things, you were rich with love. I will miss you greatly. Rest well.
I think that it’s interesting to see that automatically all the groups decided to kill off certain people. I think a lot of what influenced our decision is from a young age, were told that drugs are bad, and drug addicts are throwing their lives away. I dont think Ive ever heard something positive said about a drug addict. We are told that if we don’t have good grades or if we don’t plan to go to university, it means we are worth less than we would be if we did. At least I was. Your parents are always so happy when you get higher grades and disappointed when you have lower grades, as much I disagree with that, I can't help but think that they say those things because that is how they were brought up. And their parents taught them that because that is how they were brought up. The cycle just goes on and on. I hope that I can break that cycle. I want to prove everyone wrong.
I was the drug addict in the group. I automatically thought that I was worthless for the group and sacrificed myself. Now, I'm thinking that it wouldn't have mattered if I sacrificed myself or not. There was no guarantee that we would have survived. There was only hope to say that the world would be able to get back on its feet. If I was given the opportunity to do this again. I think I would say that we all stay. Assuming that the holocaust never ends, there wouldn't be much point to assign a worth on someone based on what they do or don't know. We would all eventually die anyway. I would like to give everyone their best chance. Because that is what they deserve. According to these quizzes, I am 98% extrovert. I would consider myself neither introvert or extrovert, but ambivert. I would consider myself to be somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I'm not sure if I agree with the things that these quizzes were saying. Im sure there is science behind them but I don't think that a quiz is a trustworthy way of telling these things. Couldn't someone choose different answers than my own and get the same answers? I think that it is cool to see where I fit in the spectrum but I don't think that it means anything much. The results definitely don't affect how I think about anything. A quiz should not define how I think about certain issues. Most of the time you have to choose the answer closest to what the real answer is. These results don’t change anything, i'm still the same person I was before I took the quizzes. I don't think that I can do much with these results, other than carry on with my life.
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Keep it holy. Archives
January 2016
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